Monday, July 26, 2010

Over the last 2 weeks I weaned myself off two medications.  I think I'm going to go back on to one of them- Topamax/Topiramate.  I have been enjoying remembering words and not feeling/sounding as stupid as I usually do, but I had one long panic attack all night long.  The kind that hurt and felt like a heart attack.  By 5:30 this morning I gave up and took one of Big Daddy's xanax.  I am NOT happy that I had to resort to that, but the panic attack was unbearable.

The reason I wanted to go off these medications is that I have no motivation to do anything other than sitting around all day and playing on the computer.  Today though, I'm motivated to whip my kids into shape and get their own chores done, as well as me being a bit more helpful than just yelling at them.

I don't know if I will be motivated again like this if I go back on the topamax.  Of course, I'm so freaked out now, I hope I will remember...

I honestly don't think I could help my kids if I'm panicky all the time.


  1. is that the reason i can remember everything right now?? I am better off numb.
    I am calling the dr and getting back on some of mine.. for one thing i need to sleep again, another is the topamax keeps the headaches at bay! .. SO i am going to take
    trazadone and topamax. and any pain medicine he will give me. I NEED to live again and I am not off meds. I just play one the computer for 14 hours a day.. seriously.

  2. Those are the exact two meds I was talking about!